Smoking out a rodent…

Channel Ling writes for fun and non-fiction… We’ve brought her back within our team of writers as some of you have been asking. The following is another one of her fun stories which flies a bit close to the edge. Take it with a pinch of salt and enjoy! ☺️ 

Sometimes, to test support (if only you could do a blood test 🤔. Ok. Not possible), you have to give something away.

So here’s the thing: I’m seen by others as doing well and progressing. For those who know who I am, that’s what they say they see in me. They know that I write. They’re aware I use a pseudonym (Yes. I have used Mrs Smith too). I also write under my own name, Chanel (in case you were wondering). And they tend to be people I work with. They look at me and see someone progressing, doing well, making money—and they see me continuing on that path.

I, on the other hand, used to often feel like an impostor. I’d know I produce work that’s going to land somewhere—whether in a novel, a textbook, or something else. I’d know I’m going to do it. I’d know all of that. I also know that even know I sometimes I get writer’s block and have no idea what to put after the word “I,” or how to start a paragraph or a sentence. It escapes me. I now accept that that is normal. It took a few years and it’s been a few years but I’m there now and have been for some time 

The thing is, most people never saw the doubt. All they saw was the shine. I step out looking good every day. I bring my best self and I represent. But I know and understand that sometimes, you need to be able to bring someone into your confidence—for whatever reason. I know that I need to make my friends feel ten foot tall sometimes. I need to recall and help them to get there!

So let me tell you a story.

I have a friend who told me they feel like they’re surrounded by a pack of wolves. They were talking about the people they work with. When they first told me that, I thought, Come on, you’re being a bit dramatic. But as they started to explain why they used that description, I started to understand.

You can feel like prey if, every single day, something happens that makes you think someone is trying to—quote—“throw you under the bus.”

Yesterday, it was someone highlighting what they assumed were errors, sharing them with the whole team via email. The day before, someone blamed something deeply personal on them. The day before that? Another thing. And before that? Something awful. Just about every day, there’s something new.

Trying to be sensible, I said, “When you get a red car, all you see is red cars.” So maybe someone is doing something, and you’ve become aware of it—and now you’re seeing it in everything everyone else does. So my idea was: smoke out the rat.

So how do you smoke out a rat?

Very carefully. And with loads of smoke. Ooh and keep your hands far from the trap.

Also, I suggested doing one thing: Think of something only she would know—something she could share with just one person, something absolutely unbelievable—and see if it comes back to her.

Note: She’s terrible at lying. She doesn’t feel comfortable with it. She’s awful at coming up with anything untrue.

Note: I am none of those things! Come on I make up stories for a living! Can’t help but giggle here—I am truly none of the above. I can do all of those things. So the test? Teach her how to be me. Difficult, but we can kind of halfway get there.

In short? She went into work and told a half-truth to one person. That person was chosen very carefully. It had to be someone involved in whatever this situation was—and someone she thought right in the midst of it. She wanted to find out: who would be the first to leak?

The tale? That she applied for the job of her dreams and would be meeting Richard Branson no less the following Friday.

Now, remember two things:

1. She doesn’t like to lie.
2. Her colleagues probably know that
3. And what’s the likelihood of this ever being true? We both agreed slim to none.

But the suspect believes it because of point 1 and 2 above. Still giggling 🤭. In fact, they believe it so much and she does exactly what I asked her to do: As she’s leaving work she turns back and walks the few paces to him, smiles (well she says smiles. I’m guessing she probably had watery eyes and and scared impression- remember? She cannot lie for toffee! - look I am still giggling and my eyes are watering 🤭), and says, “Keep that to yourself.”

Now, the truth is—if you already suspect someone isn’t on your side, why would you test them? -Because you want to be sure. If it’s about bringing a team together, you need to be certain that the cuckoo in the nest is clear to you so you can decide your next steps.

Note: As she’s walking towards him, she notices something. He’s already typing on his phone. Now, it might be nothing—we’re all glued to our phones, and when there’s no one to talk to, we turn to them. So maybe it was nothing. But maybe… it wasn’t.

The next day, she walks into work—and people stop talking. They look uncomfortable. The one person she knows is comfortable lying quickly says something like, “where is that bit of paper I had earlier?” She just smiles.

She tells me the rest of the day goes smoothly, except it’s clear people want to say something—but they don’t. So she stays late. And while she’s finishing up some work, someone else walks in and says, “Are you off to somewhere new? You know like a virgin (wink wink)”

She replies, “What makes you ask that?”

“Well, a little birdie said you might be…”

She smiles. One down. 3 to go.

This is Chanel Ling

Signing Out Until the Next Time

Ps I must say I do not condone lying but I do condone knowing your team. There are other ways to do this but this one is a quick one. Remember too if you don’t trust someone sometimes it’s easier to just go with your gut and let them go- nicely. Ooh and no rodents were harmed in the portrayal of this “story”🤭